Pushing 40: Perspective Shifts

10 non-professional experiences from the last decade that have added facets to my thinking

Photo by Richard Burlton on Unsplash

As I stare down my 40^th birthday, I’ve been reflecting on my last decade of life, and identified ten “firsts” that have changed my perspective on work/life/growth. In no particular order:

1. Joined a Board (Ithaca Shakespeare Company). I’d been involved in Ithaca Shakespeare as a fight choreographer (and occasional performer) since 2016, but took on a board role in 2021. I helped come up with our rehearsal policy and protocols in the pre-vaccine era, and had to bridge both our concern for our actors’ and audiences’ safety with the needs of live performance (though being outdoors helped). My problem-solving mind (and those of the brilliant students and job-seekers I often work with) can get hung up on trying to find the ideal solution to a problem, and operating in the face of forced global ambiguity crystalized the extent to which the “right” answer has as much to do with what is consistent with our values and priorities as an organization as it does the analysis behind it.

2. Harvested ramps. The wild garlic grows in large patches in my woods. It’s delicate, however, and many people will say you shouldn’t harvest it due to the potential harm. For me, however, harvesting ramps in the woods on my property is part of how I relate to it. I only take from large patches, and take <10% of the ramps from any patch, cutting above the root stems with a sharp knife. My patches have grown each year, and I’ve had enough for personal consumption and to share with a small batch local hot-sauce maker at our farmer’s market. I’ve earned a few hundred dollars from my sales, but more importantly, it’s connected me to the bounties all around us, and felt like an opportunity to connect others to a local, seasonal delicacy while ensuring that it lasts. And though the earnings are trivial, they make it that much easier to ignore the mail-in offers I get semi-regularly from developers to buy the woods. It’s helped me appreciate that conservation isn’t about preserving the world in amber, but rather about ensuring that we live lightly upon it.

3. Used a riding mower and a scythe. I grew up with a push-mower, but having 4+ acres of lawn out in the country, that wasn’t going to cut it (pun intended). I straddle both ends of the technological spectrum, using a zero-turn riding mower to do the bulk of the grassy area, and a scythe to do the edgework/weeds/path into the woods. The riding mower’s a lot faster, but the scythe is more fun (and cheaper- no premium gas consumption, no oil changes required, and easier to fix when the blade needs it). It also makes it easier to avoid the snakes/frogs that make their homes in the grass. Ironically, we tend to focus on the appearance of the output over the process: if I lived in a gated community and tried to mow by scythe, the uneven results might lead people to ask why I didn’t “care for” my lawn the way that others do (who outsourced the mowing to a professional landscaper on a riding mower). So I find myself asking what the “scythe solution” is many times: simple, adaptable, and maybe enough for the job at hand, even if it’s not “scalable.”

4. Adopted 2 dogs. I had a miniature poodle growing up, and always imagined I’d have a dog again, but the decision was front-loaded in 2016 when an MBA student at Cornell, where I worked, passed away unexpectedly and his family couldn’t keep his dogs, but wanted them to be able to stay together. Besides getting me out of the house twice/day for walks (healthy!) and waking me up in the middle of the night barking (not so much!), Hank and Chopper have made me more patient, confident, and consistent. I can be annoyed at interruptions, but it’s not the dogs’ fault they have to go outside to pee: I taught them that’s what I wanted them to do, so they’re trying to do what they’re supposed to (by not peeing on the floor). Sometimes (especially with children) we need to teach them about the impact their actions have on others and help them empathize. Other times it’s more important to just let the dog pee.

5. Invested in a startup. Startups are risky. They (may) need to compete with established players, they (may) have limited runway, and even if they’re the first providing their offer, then they need to solve a previously unsolved problem and communicate it to the world. Meanwhile, changes in valuations, interest rates, or other macro factors could easily undermine their potential. That said, I’ve found a handful that I was willing to lose money on if they failed, because it felt like they were doing something positive that others hadn’t addressed yet. In the face of any substantial uncertainty, I’ve tried to ask myself “if this goes badly, would I feel more embarrassed by the loss, or happy that I tried to support something worthwhile?”

6. Bought term life insurance. After the birth of my daughter, I knew that I wanted to ensure that she could stay in the house she grew up in even if something happened to me.